After some years in the professional world with people who claim that they are fluent in English, here are the top irritants that I encounter at work (and yes, even from the managers):

1) As per (or per)

Instead of using: according to, as stated in, in accordance with
Example: As per your request (As you requested)

Nobody uses this in casual conversation nowadays!

2) Irregardless

Instead of using: regardless, irrespective

Ir + less = double negation. Self-explanatory

My MBA for Middle Managers schedule at Ateneo Graduate School of Business for 1st trimester, SY 2009-2010

Tuesday
MMMANACC – Managerial Accounting (2009 batch), under Ric Palo, the curriculum coordinator
(a subject to be taken during the first trimester)

Wednesday
MMMANSCI – Management Science (2008 B batch), Ralph Ante, the chair of the Operations cluster
(a subject that should be taken during the second trimester, not first)

I did not enroll MMETHICS (the subject that I am supposed to take together with Managerial Accounting) this time because 1) I am waiting for a certain Ethics teacher 2) I do not work on Mondays and I do not want to leave the house that day.

I did not enroll MMPRIMAN, a relatively easy subject, because the first trimester falls on the UAAP basketball games, and there are games that are scheduled on Thursdays. (Go La Salle!)

That means taking two (relatively) difficult subjects at the same time.

Degree?

Before choosing a school, I had to choose which masters degree to take first. Being a nerdy person, I was originally considering MS Financial Engineering/MS Applied Economics at De La Salle University College of Business and Economics. However, considering my current situation and the career path it would lead to, MBA is becoming more relevant to me.

School?

If I chose MS Financial Engineering/MS Applied Economics, this question would not be a problem because the default choice is De La Salle University. However, after choosing MBA as a field, this is THE difficult question to answer. According to Eduniversal, the top business schools in the Philippines are:

TOP Business Schools (internationally known)
4 palmes – Asian Institute of Management

EXCELLENT Business Schools (nationally strong and/or with continental links)

3 palmes – De La Salle University – College of Business and Economics (DLSU CBE)
3 palmes – Ateneo de Manila University – Ateneo Graduate School of Business (ADMU AGSB)
3 palmes – University of the Philippines – College of Business Admininstration (UP CBA)

GOOD Business Schools (with regional influence)
2 palmes – University of Santo Tomas – UST Graduate School

Asian Institute of Management (AIM) – I am not considering this school because of the high tuition and the absence of the part-time program. If I were that rich, I could have established a business instead or studied at National University of Singapore or Erasmus University – Rotterdam School of Management. I also cannot afford studying full-time and without a job, since I will pay for my own tuition and I understand the opportunity cost of leaving the corporate world.

De La Salle University – Manila (DLSU) – I am a proud graduate of this school (BS Computer Science major in Computer Engineering, DLSU College of Computer Studies), and I know that La Salle’s undergraduate and graduate business programs have a reputable record. The DLSU MBA program offers specializations (e.g., Information Technology, International Business), and it would be useful if I want to specialize in a certain business field.

However, I was frustrated at the lack of available information at their official website, as though school information that applicants need to know should be hidden. While the rest of the MBA schools provide faculty profile, number of international students, course descriptions, history of the graduate school, DLSU only provided the flowchart (in course codes without description) and the names of the faculty members. I am also disappointed at the inefficiencies of the current system, such as the transfer of the Graduate School of Business under the College of Business and Economics, and this.

Ateneo de Manila University (ADMU) Ateneo Graduate School of Business (AGSB) – There are several reasons why the Ateneo MBA might be a fit for me. First of all, the school has been actively coordinating with schools in France. Considering that I already speak a lot of French, I am attracted to the foreign student exchange program with Bordeaux Ecole De Management (BEM) in France. Ateneo and École Superieure des Sciences Commerciales d’Angers (ESSCA) also joint forces to offer a tri-location Master in Management program, so there might be additional progress.

While DLSU divides the MBA program according to specializations, Ateneo divides the MBA program according to the students’ level of work experience (Standard MBA, MBA for Middle Managers, and MBA-Regis). Only the standrd MBA program requires the pre-MBA subjects, while the rest of the programs start with the core subjects. I do not need the pre-MBA subjects (e.g., business communication, statistics), so having options that are other than the standard offering is beneficial to me.

Ateneo’s Center for Continuing Education also provides Project Management Professional Review Program and Diploma in Applied Project Management, which would be useful if ever I decide to be an IT project manager. I am also considering Six Sigma, and they can be credited as electives in the Ateneo MBA program.

Aside from being the first to offer this program in the Philippines (as MBM), Ateneo Graduate School of Business was ranked first in the evaluation of the Commission on Higher Education – Funds Assisstance for Private Educations (CHED-FAPE).

University of the Philippines – Considering that the Diliman campus is an inconvenient location for successful professionals who usually work at Makati or Ortigas, many would choose the aforementioned schools due to practicality. However, I would prefer having diverse and significant profiles in my classmates. Moreover, the class size of 35-40, and I would prefer a smaller class size for more student-centered discussions.

Program?

Standard MBA – The foundation would be ensured for the students who have a non-business undergraduate degree and recently started their professional career.

MBA for Middle Managers – Since the students are expected to have more years of experience and to have a certain level of supervisory/managerial control in their current work, the class discussions would be richer and the overall standard would be higher. Since the pre-MBA subjects are waived, the expectations are higher, which I am willing to take as a challenge. The students are usually in a block with around 15 students (sometimes more, sometimes less).

MBA-Regis Executive Progam – The program is similar to the MBA for Middle Managers program but with faster pacing (twice faster than the trimestral calendar), and a subject is 4 straight hours a week instead of 3. The students are usually in a block with less than ten students.

Final choice:

Despite graduating college from De La Salle University, I will study MBA-Middle Managers program in Ateneo out of practicality (De La Salle University’s MBA has 60 units, Ateneo’s MBA-MM has 42 units), and to prove that the LaSallian excellence is not limited to 2401 Taft Avenue. Skipping subjects as among the youngest students and excelling despite having the least professional experience would be an adventure. I passed the MBA for Middle Managers program despite having only 2.5 years of work experience instead of 5 years; I was already working as a supervisor on my second year in the real world anyway. I did not choose Regis because I am not sure whether I can handle 4 straight hours of class twice a week in addition to the assignments that they require and my travel time. Right now, I also value more contact hours with classmates and teachers.

It did not turn out as planned (i.e., La Salle MBA next year), but trying something different would not hurt. When it comes to the basketball game, I would most probably sit on the green side, for the love of my beloved Alma Mater.

and ranked 9th in the Ateneo MBA entrance exam despite the overtime work the previous night, the lack of sleep, waking up late, no breakfast, and no preparation.

I am good at Math BUT not under time pressure. On the bright side, I finished ahead of time in the reading comprehension, inference, deductive reasoning, inductive reasoning. In the word analogy exam, I encountered the word “fluvial”, which is supposed to be tricky, but I definitely know that la fleuve is just river in French. hah!

Someone (from a blue school) asked if my ego is now bloated. I simply said: “No, my ego is as flat as the world”. Who said LaSallians cannot excel in Ateneo? One big fight!

A song that you once thought you would forever long kept playing in your head, even with the play button unpressed. A flashback in the middle of pitch black used to play that track whenever moods attacked. Ticking like a clock, with hands not getting tired.

Until the infatuation reached saturation. Like a memorized poem recited in the room. Or the finest chocolate, but consumed until eight. The melody once harmonious has notes now monotonous. Moving like a machine, full of rust within.

The person – or at least the idea – is fading.

I received business textbooks from a classmate in the French class who recently finished her MBA (for Middle Managers, the exact program that I am targeting).

Business textbooks:
- An Introduction to Strategic Management Concepts and Cases 11th Edition – Fred R David
- Business Ethics Concepts and Cases 5th Edition – Manuel G. Velasquez
- General Principles in Operations Management – Jay Heizer & Barry Render
- Fundamentals of Financial Management 10th Edition – Eugene F. Brigham, Joel F. Houston
- Applied Management Science and Spreadsheet Modelling – Francis J. Clauss
- Heroic Leadership – Chris Lowney
- Marketing Management 11th Edition – Philip Kotler
- Managerial Accounting 4th Edition – Ronald W. Hilton

After several days, I received a message from one of the (terror?) teachers in Alliance Française, offering his French language textbooks:

Steven, do you want more reference books in French? I have books that I don’t use anymore but are in very good condition. They’re reference materials I bought in France pa. I thought of you first. I’m not selling them. I’d give them to you for free.

- Le Bon Usage 13th edition – André Goosse (This is THE Bible of the French grammar)
- Dictionnaire de l’argot français et de ses origines – Jean-Paul Colin, Jean-Pierre Mével, and Christian Leclère
- Larousse Dictionnaire des Difficultés de la langue Française – A.V. Thomas
- Larousse Dictionnaire des Synonymes – E. Genouvrier
- Richesse du Vocabulaire – Jeannine Bochard-Fièvez/Jean Delahaut
- Business French Glossary (English-French French-English) – Peter Collin Publishing
- Le Dico du français qui se cause – Pierre Merle

Me: Bonjour ! Merci de m’avoir donné gratuitement tous ces livres en très bon état malgré etant acheté en France il y a longtemps. Les mots sans fin ne sont pas assez pour exprimer ma gratitude ! Les choses dont quelqu’un n’a plus besoin, c’est sans aucun doute le trésor de quelqu’un d’autre ! J’étais toujours volontaire pour recevoir le bienfait hehe

Prof: Je n’ai jamais dit qu’ils sont gratuits. Tu m’invites à dîner dans un resto japonais super cher. =) (Je blague, bien sûr.)

J’va penser à moi maintenant
Dany Bédar

Il s’est perdu le grand amour
Il s’est enfuit pour toujours
Peu importe c’est pour quand
Faut pas le vivre trop souvent
J’va penser à moi maintenant

Il se cache peut-être dans un bar
Ou dans un nuage de brouillard
Ça peut être troublant
Quand ça fait trop longtemps
J’va penser à moi maintenant

Il est le reflet du miroir
Pour ceux qui veulent bien y croire
J’me regarde pas trop souvent
J’ai surtout pas beaucoup de temps
J’va penser à moi maintenant

Il peut fondre quelquefois
Y a tellement d’hommes qui se noient
Trop d’alcool dans le sang
Et ces matins pesants
J’va penser à moi maintenant

Il change de nom quand il repart
Et il disparait dans le noir
Moé j’ai eu trente ans
J’fais parti des grands
J’va penser à moi maintenant

Je lui écris une autre chanson
Au grand amour et son frisson
Une chose en terminant
J’pisserai pu contre le vent
J’va penser à moi maintenant

Un dernier tour de chant
Si c’est ça moi, je me rends
J’va penser à moi, j’va penser à moi
J’va penser à moi maintenant

The KPI results for the 3rd and 4th quarter of last year (2008) are the same.

Performance Objectives Rating:
0 = Did not achieve at all
1 = Below expectations
2 = Met expectations
3 = Exceeded expectations

Team Member Only:
Timeliness of project deliverables – 2
Compliance with SDLC policies and procedures – 3
Availability to Level 3 Support – 2
Client Satisfaction Feedback – 2
Personal and Professional Development – 2

Team Member Contribution:
Effort – 3
Attitude – 3
Listening – 2
Communication – 3
Teamwork – 2
Leadership – 2

We have not been evaluated yet for the first quarter of 2009 because, logically, the evaluation period will be until the end of March 2009.

Je n’attends plus ton retour
Dany Bédar

La nuit tombe sur le jour
Y en a qui sorte, faire un tour
Si le bonheur tourne autour
Ce que le malheur court toujours

[Refrain:]
Y en na d’autre qui tombe en amour
Moi je n’attends plus ton retour

La nuit ramene les vautours
Y en a qui heurtent au secour !
Y en a sans doute de meilleur aux alentours
Pour effacer l’ébats de ton parcours

[au refrain]

La nuit fait place aux beaux jours
Y en a qui sorte faire la cour
Si les ébats de ton voisin te rendent sourd
Fait battra ton cœur comme un tambour

[au refrain]

Aside from at least 48 hours of work a week, there are 7 hours a week of two French modules combined. My house is far and I go back and forth to the office, and the school is far from both office and home. Finding time for watching movies and reading books is difficult. Sleep is a luxury.

There is no time to prioritize dating, flirting, and reading nonsense e-mails over working, studying, and casually visiting close friends. Therefore, if you cannot contribute to my productivity and happiness, just go away and be happy without me.

Thank you.

(To be scheduled: overnight vacation at Pansol with some French classmates and friends, a birthday party with a High School classmate’s family and friends, dinner with college friends, a good musical with someone)

Attraction is not a choice that can be decided at will; it is a sensation, not a voluntary response.

Attraction is not a permission that can be asked; it cannot be obtained by begging.

Attraction is not a logical argument that can be proven through fighting for a generally accepted set of scientific standards; it is a perceived value, not an absolute value.

Attraction is not about always stating the logically correct final answer; it is about the manner it is delivered regardless of stupidity.

(C’est un devoir pour la classe de français. Et oui, la phrase vient de Victor Hugo, pas de Spider-man.)

Quand on a plus de liberté que les autres, il faut en profiter bien avec plus d’attention. Telle liberté exige qu’on soit chargé de faire quelque chose d’utile pour tout le monde sans oublier l’obligation de ne faire mal à personne. En plus, on a la responsibilité de protéger son liberté et celle des autres. Car la manière d’utilisation de la liberté est très importante, il faut tourner sa langue sept fois dans sa bouche avant de parler, et il faut reflechir à ses actions avant d’agir.

A former officemate added one of my friends both in Yahoo Messenger AND Facebook even if they do not know each other. As expected, my friend asked the person where the e-mail address was obtained (I had no idea).

A: hi, may i know where you got my email
B: from Steven
B: may I know your name?
A: he gave it to you?
A: did he not give my name?
B: your name is A?
A: and you are B, i suppose?
B: yes, y?
A (9:49:47 PM): may i ask why steven gave my email to you?
A (9:58:58 PM): sorry got disconnected, may i ask why steven gave my email to you?
B (11:21:29 PM): i got your contacts from the email steven sent

Note: There was a long gap between the question and the answer (1 hour, 31 minutes, 42 seconds) and the other party’s status was “Available” all along, not “Offline” or “Idle”.

I cannot blame my friend if she was also probably wondering about the reason behind these sudden online connection requestS, and why HER specifically, among my friends. Since I did not know that something was already happening, I am thankful that she left an offline message asking me why this person added her.

The unexpected friend requests itself is already weird, but it is weirder that the common link (me!) was not notified beforehand. However, since it should be none of my business, I did not do anything about it in order to not aggravate the situation. I just apologized to my friend for the hassle. She has a boyfriend already!

Considering these, it is improper for the person who added a supposed stranger to call me a “jerk”, thinking that my friend is “freak” and “rude” even if she was just inquiring where the e-mail address came from, and not apologizing to her.

On the other hand, it is impolite to add a total stranger without answering the question WHY when asked. Why does one also have to ask for the name of the person whom she added personally without my introduction when she knew it well all along? Most importantly, when one receives an e-mail with a lot of recipients, adding someone from the CC list is normal only if she is actually acquainted with the other person or at least polite enough to introduce herself properly.

It is unfortunate that the one who considers herself to be more mature than me would end up doing something as immature as this.

1) I have a secret and I cannot post it here. Hihi.

2) I am prematurely born but very healthy. In theory, I am supposed to have an underdeveloped brain so you can just imagine my intelligence if only i were given a fair chance.

3) Being more light-skinned than my sisters when I was a kid, I used to be mistaken as a half foreigner or a full-blooded Chinese

4) I cannot see the reason why people keep on telling me that I look like Tom Taus!

5) I always want to do so many things despite having so little time.

6) I used to read the encyclopedia (at least it’s Wikipedia nowadays). I am nerdy, science-oriented and definitely not artistic, that is why I am hoping to improve the other parts of my brain by taking language classes

7) Contrary to the previous item, many people think that I must be an English/Philosophy or arts major!

I have not been out of my country and I am very frustrated about it. I am bitter (VERY bitter) about Norbelle’s vacation in France.

9) I like a certain stranger just because of her hormone-inviting accent.
(si tu sais ce dont il s’agit, tais-toi !)

10) I am not planning to get married, at least not soon (e.g., six months)

11) The password in my e-mail account is a nickname I once gave to a (former?) crush during my college days. (Hi Negryza, you know who she is AND I will never admit this to anyone else again! haha)

12) For every password that I have used, at least someone knows it. So all my friends can have a meeting in order to open all my online accounts.

13) I love dogs. Does this make me French?

14) I do not cook, sing, drive, draw… How many times should I mention that I lack art?

15) I want to be fluent in French some years from now just because the accent is lovely. At least I am studying for pleasure, not just for serious business.

16) I haven’t rode a bike for a very long time, probably more than 10 years, but I am sure that I still know how to bike.

17) I can easily be pleased. You don’t have to buy me expensive gifts, really. All it takes is an orgasmic chocolate bar.

18) I am not impressed with needy girls. I would hate to have a stereotypical « Stepford wife » as a partner. I like someone who has higher goals in life and has her own life that does not revolve around me only.

19) I am not talking to my father for a very long time, and I believe that it is one of the best decisions I have made so far.

20) I already experienced being stalked. Not in a figurative sense.

21) In college, I used to change mobile numbers AT LEAST once a year.

22) I have a very weak “radar” that I cannot tell whether someone likes me or not. I just find out through second-hand (or first-hand) confessions. At least I am not assuming too much.

23) I am flat-footed like my mother and eldest sister. Shoe size = 10 (US standard). What does that mean?

24) I do not eat apples, oranges, ripe mangoes, and a lot of other fruits.

25) I want to study again someday, to visit different countries someday, try a lot of new things someday…

Cher Cupidon
(par Dany Bédar)

Je suis tombé comme un idiot
Noyé en buvant de ton eau
Aimé peut-être un peu trop
J’ai pourtant l’habitude de te tourner le dos

Tu t’es trompé, vrai ou faux ?
T’as mille défauts tu voles trop haut
Tu te trouves bien beau, un beau salaud
Une flèche en stéréo pour causer le cahot

[Refrain]

Cher Cupidon, as-tu perdu la raison ?
T’aurais sans doute besoin d’une bonne leçon
Cher Cupidon, j’ai quelques questions
C’est plutôt une proposition, oublie-moi donc

T’as tiré une fois de trop
Et j’utilise mon droit de véto
J’espère ne plus t’voir de sitôt
Tu peux prendre quelques bonnes années de repos

[au refrain]

Un jour je referai le grand saut
T’auras droit à une part du gâteau
Et une poignée de main solo
Dans l’autre main je garderai le couteau

« Sacrée Sophie, le jeu avait repris sur les chapeaux de roue. Du bonheur à l’état pur, brut, natif, volcanique, quel pied ! C’était mieux que tout, mieux que la drogue, mieux que l’héro, mieux que la dope, coke, crack, fix, joint, shit, shoot, snif, pét’, ganja, marie-jeanne, cannabis, beu, peyotl, buvard, acide, LSD, extasy. Mieux que le sexe, mieux que la fellation, soixante-neuf, partouze, masturbation, tantrisme, kama-sutra, brouette thaïlandaise. Mieux que le Nutella au beurre de cacahuète et le milk-shake banane. Mieux que toutes les trilogies de George Lucas, l’intégrale des Muppet Show, la fin de 2001. Mieux que le déhanché d’Emma Peel, Marilyn, la Schtroumpfette, Lara Croft, Naomi Campbell et le grain de beauté de Cindy Crawford. Mieux que la face B d’Abbey Road, les solos d’Hendrix, le petit pas de Neil Armstrong sur la lune. Le Space Mountain, la ronde du Père Noël, la fortune de Bill Gates, les transes du Dalaï lama, les NDE, la résurrection de Lazare, toutes les piquouzes de testostérone de Schwarzy, le collagène dans les lèvres de Pamela Anderson. Mieux que Woodstock et les rave parties les plus orgasmiques. Mieux que la défonce de Sade, Rimbaud, Morrison et Castaneda. Mieux que la liberté. Mieux que la vie… »

“Sophie, you old devil, the game has resumed at top speed. Pure, raw, innate, volcanic pleasure! It was better than drugs, better than smack, better than a dope, coke, crack, fix, joint, shit, shoot, sniff, ganja, Mary Jane, cannabis, weed, peyote, blotting paper, acid, LSD, ecstasy. Better than sex, blowjob, 69, orgy, masturbation, tantra, Kama Sutra, Thai doggy-style. Better than the nutella on peanut butter and banana milkshake. Better than George Lucas’s trilogy, the whole Muppet Show, the end of 2001. Better than Emma Peel, Marilyn, la Schtroumpfette, Lara Croft, Naomi Campbell and the beauty mark of Cindy Crawford. Better than the B-side to Abbey Road, the solos of Jimmy Hendrix, the small footstep of Neil Armstrong on the moon. Space Mountain, walk-around of Santa Claus, Bill Gates’ fortune, the Dalai Lama, near-death experience, the resurrection of Lazarus. Schwarzenegger’s testosterone shots, the collagen in Pam Anderson’s lips. Better than Woodstock and most orgasmic rave parties. Better than the drugs of Sade, Rimbaud, Morrison and Castaneda. Better than freedom, better than life…”

Someone does not deserve the time of a busy person with a lot of important things to prioritize in life.

Someone does not deserve the explanation of someone telling the truth if the answers will always be interpreted from an entirely different perspective anyway.

Someone does not deserve the effort of a person if the game is unfair, complicated and less clearly defined but nevertheless requires full dedication. Someone does not deserve to expect a person to aim for futile results.

Someone does not deserve the recognition of a person who has been discriminated by that person. Someone does not deserve the apology of a person who is not guilty of the accusations.

Someone does not deserve the hatred of a person who only has apathy. Someone does not deserve the care of a person who has realized that it is better to let things be and not care about it.

L’Auberge Espagnol

Je recommande mon premier film favorit, « L’Auberge Espagnol ». Il s’agit d’un étudiant Erasmus qui a voyagé en Espagne pour étudier l’economie et pour connaitre les autres cultures européennes. L’histoire a commencé quand il a decidé de quitter sa famille et la France, son pays, pour vivre avec des étrangers. Ses colocataires, ayant de differentes nationalités, parlent anglais, espagnol, allemand, et un peu français. Malgré les differences culturelles, on s’entend bien dans l’auberge.

Le film met l’éducation et la diversité de la culture en valeur en utilisant le programme Erasmus comme centre de l’histoire. En plus, il y a des histoires sur les relations differentes. C’est un film à voir absolument !

Jeux d’Enfants

Il s’agit de deux personnes qui jouent les jeux folles depuis l’enfance. Les gens (surtout les adultes) penseraient sûrement que leur decisions sont stupides, mais ils continuent de se defier de faire des choses dangereuses et quelquefois humiliantes. Il y a une histoire d’amour dans ce film mais cet histoire-ci n’est pas banal. On ne peut pas prévoir les consequences du jeux « cap ou pas cap ? », alors il ne doit pas racontrer tous l’intrigue ici !

(to be continued…)

Fortunately, I do not have to resort to visually stimulating reminders to revive stagnant and dry hormones. I just have to hear someone’s accent to resume the overflow of the raging hormones.

…that this person really looks like Patrick Dempsey?

He played one of the main characters in my newly discovered favorite French film, Jeux d’Enfants. Maybe one can tell the difference only when they speak.

Ils se ressemblent comme deux gouttes d’eau !