Some people say I look like…


David Archuleta

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Dan Byrd

Aaron Ashmore

JC Cuadrado

AND the classic choice, Tom Taus

But comparing them against each other, I don’t even know where to start!

Reality, please slap me


Despite always wanting to appear the strong one between the two, I am shamelessly allowing the unexpected cycle to enter my life and disturb my mind all over again. Opening oneself to another vulnerability should not be as easy as this, after a lot of self-convincing that the situation — or the person — is not worth the time anymore. Yet, even though this is difficult to admit, I secretly want to have more, to feel more, to be more, with this person.

It is sometimes tempting to express how someone is missed but my innate pride left this part unsaid — perfectly achieved by purposely looking away when being stared at and removing my hand instead of letting it be touched for a longer time. I do not want to give the wrong impression that my existence almost depends on a specific person only.

After some rationalization, I realized that I might just be enjoying the idea that a person whom I highly consider to be important through a lot of things (even in profession, academics, and personal power) want to consider me important for nothing in particular.

I must go out more, as soon as possible — with a different person, that is.

Valentine’s day


While the rest of the world was on a date, I was having French lessons and exams. Right after the nosebleed-inducing experience, we suddenly decided to go to Cuillère.

The setting reminds me of Les Deux Moulins (from the movie Le Fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain), a café in Rue Lepic, Montmarte, Paris.

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The food is expensive as expected, but for me, it is worth the money.

Where are my gazillion letters?


If there is something that I would like to change about my own mother, it is her being nosy. (Years ago, she was even listening to the first few parts of a conference call that I received!)

I used to keep the letters that I receive in a small box under my bed, then transferred them to a big clear book and kept it at the bottom of my clothes, because I kept on receiving more letters and I want them to be organized.

When I thought I have too much clothes to hide the collection, my mom suddenly transferred all of them to a bigger cabinet, with the unexpected loss of the precious letters. Considering her I-should-know-everything mentality, I am sure that she placed the letters somewhere else. I even know that she had read the love letters of my brother!

The first thing that came to my mind was to ask her personally, but the scenario that I imagined is not good:

Me: Where are my gazillion letters? *raising eyebrows
Mom: Which letters are you talking about? The one from [friend #1] who talks about [sensitive topic #1], or the… (and the list goes on) ? And as far as I remember, there is also a condom there. *raising eyebrows, higher than mine
Me: But it’s an unused condom! But [sensitive topic #1] is none of your business! But… *faints

At least nobody will ever see the melodramatic and desperate letters. I had thrown those « love letters » away not because they are from the past, but mostly because I am worried that someone else in the house would see them.

The ones I collected are just from my friends, mostly high school and college friends, but the set of topics is very diverge. Cheesy things that we considered interesting way back then, about common friends, some fiction that would sound completely nonsense to the people outside that certain circle of friends, inside jokes that are open to misinterpretations, even references to green jokes. Those are definitely not the topics that I would like to share with my own mother.

The letters are far from the usual inspirational books, but it reminds me that I inspire so many people and they look up to me, and I have shared a lot of happy days with a lot of people. With the advent of blogging nowadays and the efficiency of e-mail, I would most probably not receive these kinds of letters anymore (or not that way at least). I usually read the letters all over again when I need inspiration, so I miss them.

Salut tout le monde !


J’ai sorti mon bloc-notes, (oui, c’est en anglais). Alors, voila mon nouveau bloc-notes. J’espere que ce changera tout, compri ma perspective dans la vie. Pour mes amis qui sont anglophones et ne parlent pas la belle langue française, pardonnez-moi si c’est en français en ce moment. Ne vous inquiétez pas, je n’oublierai jamais de parler anglais et tagalog.

[Hello everybody! I left my blog, (yes, it’s in English). So here is my new blog. I hope that this will change everything, including my perspective in life. For my friends who are English-speaking and do not speak the beautiful French language, sorry if it is in French at the moment. Do not worry, I will never forget how to speak English and Tagalog.]